Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in a studio in Swansea with Mr. Chris "Korkey" Corcoran.

What have we got for the show, today? Well, at the moment, absolutely nothing, because Mr. Chris Corcoran was supposed to bring the papers in, and he turned up at 1 minute before the show started, uh, and he hasn't got the papers. / Yeah. That is true. / So, we've got no newspapers / guilty as charged / 左様でございます。 / ... hello. / no newspapers, and we haven't had any chance to prepare the show, sort out our features, ... topics ... / (it) doesn't really matter. / どうせやらないけどね。 / You are sat there with your arms folded though, in quite a defensive position. / Well / Are you feeling under attack? / 腕を組んで座ってるのは防御の姿勢か？ / comfortable / It's a different studio today. It's great. / He's got his arms folded, ladies and gentlemen, because he feels under attack because the producer had a go at him for forgetting the papers. Then you had a go at her for forgetting to tell you to get the papers. / I ... I zoned out at that point / It was vicious, wasn't it? It was a vicious argument. / Do you know why I think you might have been in the right, though? / Why? / 'cause the producer said, "Uh ..." / 'cause it's your show, and you should buy your own papers? / No. I said, "Korkey's here." And she said, "Has he got the papers?" / and I said, "Have you got the papers, Korkey?", and you said, "No." / "No." / And then I said to the producer, "No, he hasn't got the papers", and she said, "Why not? Has he forgotten?", and I said, "Korkey, have you forgotten the papers?", you said "No.", and then you said, "The producer didn't tell me to get the papers.", and I said, "Producer, did you tell him to get the papers?", and she said, "Yes, I told him yesterday, after he had gone out for ... after he ... after he had gone out and walked his dog, to get the papers. It was at that point that I thought the producer's wrong here 'cause Korky hasn't got a dog. / Yes, he has! / ... No, he hasn't got a dog. / Oh my goodness / The producer is coming in my ear, shouting you have. I think he would know ... I know I've got a dog, producer. Don't you get on __ me __ a dog / anway, we haven't got the papers / __ __ __ / can argue about it /got / hour / Hey, here's a feature: "Anything in the papers ?" / Absolutely no idea. / No, I mean, for the public. / Oh, I see. Sorry. I thought you were asking me. / __ __ feature / So, do it again / Anybody's got anything? Help ! ... is the feature __ __ __ __ in / anything in the papers / really / papers and tell us what's in them. / That's it. That's today's feature. / 今、プロデューサーがオレの耳元で怒鳴ってるよ。「飼ってるでしょ！」って。だってあなたは飼ってるじゃない ... って、そうだよ。オレは飼ってるよ。それで何で文句を言われなきゃなんないの？ / 最初の一時間はこの議論でもたそうか。 / 何か面白い記事ある？ / わからないよ。新聞がないんだから。/ リスナーにきいてるんだ。/ ごめんごめん。ボクにきいたのかと思ったよ。もう一回やって。/

I'll tell you what we have got as well. I've got half a dozen quizzes that you can choose from / for the second half of the show / Well, chock-full of content / do you wanna hear / quizzez are now? / Yeah. / OK. / Here are the quizzes. / Uh ... / Today's Choice Quizzes / just "Here are the quizzes" doesn't warrant a jingle ... __ quiz ... __ quiz has a jingle when it comes on. / Chimp Quiz ! / Yeah, like that. But I don't think __ __ __ __ needs a jingle. Otherwise __ __ __ __ / That's a deep question, mate. / don't ... don't / if you / jingle everything, you might as well / go / それを許すと、歯止めがきかなくなる / coming up in a minute, we / here comes the quizzes / Yeah, all right / coming up in a minute / choice of quizzes / True. True. That's a very deep point, though, you've just made. / Is it true that __ philosophy __ __ Oxford? / Sardine Quiz is still on the table. / Sardine Quiz ! We should do that today / quite like / you don't need to jingle / point either / Doesn't it add? / No. ... And you know / they say / radio / doesn't / subtract / No. It's Radio Wales. / Uh. ... what __ __ __ own right? .... Oh, Thief Quiz. / OK. / Did we do that last week? / insert your own shout-out __ Thief Quiz / yeah ... yeah, / if you are travelling along / missing / Show them how it's done, Korky. / Thief Quiz ! / There you go. Now then. ... Obsolete Word Quiz, still on the table. / Ooo, that's a good one. / Yeah. This is ... / Hang on, stop, stop! ... Someone's gotta fill__ in __ gap there / Oh, yeah, sorry / own jingles / otherwise / OK. Haggis Quiz. / That's a good one. / Yeah ... I don't know if it is. I only noticed that about five minute before you came / Are they questions? Or / just / come up with / All right. / uh ... Sayings Quiz. / Good one. / Inventions ... / Quiz ! / Oh, sorry. Yeah. / Inventions Quiz. / Inventions Quiz ... / Don't you dare / people / I'm just giving them a little / everyone / you / just / like, basic right / fill / right on top of / one year / just / every week I come / what is this / quiz quiz / Do you know what it is, really? Uh, basically, it's an animal quiz of sorts, yeah. / Can't go wrong with animal quizzes. / No, you can't go wrong with animal quizzes. / To be honest, over the years, they've been the strongest ones. / __ __ __ ... Kebab Quiz is good. / Yeah. ... I quite fancy, um, uh, Woodpecker Quiz. / here comes Jenny with the papers / Hi, Jenny. Thanks / saved ... saved by the papers ... / Ah, there we go / ... with Daily Mail on the top, that __ should help us out / here we go. Animals in Space Quiz, still on the table. / Animals in Space Quiz ! ... I know I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't resist. / Every week it just gets more and more quizzes. ... Bad Habit Quiz, Viking Quiz / quiz / or ... this is quite a good one: Evolution of the Human Body Quiz. / Huh, that's a really good one. Let's just do that one now. / No. I've t__ __ up for the second half / No. You've t__ __ up 11 quizzes. We're never gonna do __ __ __. May as well do one now / to be honest / no content / frequently, we don't get __ __ any of them.

We've got newspapers, uh, ladies and gentlemen. So, the first thing that caught my eye is ... have you ... / rugby fan, are you not? / play / rugby / Yes. / Touch rugby? / タッチラグビーだろうけどな。 / ... Have you heard about a youth team in Yorkshire where ... they now have to play in silence? / ... No. / Hey, you laugh? This has got the backing of the Rugby Union ... RFU, Rugby Football Union. / 笑ったな。これはマジだぞ。ちゃんと協会の後ろ盾がある。 / OK. Yeah. / Right? If you're not into rugby, just imagine this is football. If you are not into football, imagine / hockey / something else / darts. / Yeah. / if you are not into any sport at all, / スポーツに興味のない人には、これが何を意味するか、想像しづらいかな。こう考えてみて欲しい　... / imagine it with ... uh ... / un ... doing the dishes? / no, __ __n't work / team thing, is it? Skipping? / It's a crowd thing. / Going shopping? / the crowd / Hen do's? / Uh. ... No. It's not gonna work. / OK. / Imagine a sporting event. You can ... you can put yourself in __ ... / Theatre. The theatre. / No, 'cause in theatres, you are supposed to be quiet, you idiot. / I see / Comedy. ... Standup comedy / Yeah. Standup comedy is a good one. / OK. / Standup comedy is a good one. ... The crowd aren't allowed to make any noise ... / ... OK. / ... so, they've banned ... / Yeah? / chearing from the sidelines, you know, shouting, cheering for your team / yeah / uh ... uh ... silence / approval of the Rugby __ Football Union and former __ coach, __ __ / Right? He's back in the plan / Why? / Right. / this is a good one. I really wanna know why. / It's unbelievable. ... "An unprecedented move: Rugby bosses have ordered __ all youth games have to be played in complete silence. / ... Right. / Isn't it ... to be fair, its intentions were well-intentioned, right? / many things in life / この世の提案なるもの、すべからく、よかれと思ってなされるのだ。 / stop people abusing the referee / abused in matches, verbal abuse, and / find / it hard to recruit new people into refereeing / Fair enough. / Fair enough. There's a problem. / Yeah. / There's a problem. How do we fix it? We ban all sounds from the __ / so, the crowd ... / Yeah? / ... aren't allowed to ... so, __ __ no chance / Can they clap? / No. / What? / No. Specifically, they can't clap. ... So, when a try ... when a try is scored, they must make no sound. / トライが決まっても声を出してはいけない / Wow. / When __ unhappy with a dicision, they must make no sound. / 判定に不服があっても / Wow. / When __ __ rolling maul / doing well / pushing down the __ ... normally the crowd roar / 通常はここで大いに盛り上がるが / yeah / no sound / what about / interception? / Does this ... would you say how __ give / home advantage a little bit / I'd say __ __ does / deception, no. No sound / No sound? / No. The bizzare ... / what about when a dog runs on the pitch? / 試合中に犬が入ってきても / No sound / no / what about when somebody / bends over, splits their shorts and / 選手がかがんだ途端にケツが破けたら / all the / crowd / want / Wow. / Unbelievable. / There must be an exception for streaker. / ストリーキングが現れたら？ さすがに騒いでいいでしょ？ / It must be allowed / No sound. / No sound ! / You are allowed ... let me check if we are out of point. / 話がだいぶそれてないか？ / The ban will affect spactators, parents and coaches / Wow. / banning shouting and chanting, and also __ __ __ they are not even allowed to applaud impressive play. / すばらしいプレーにも歓声を上げてはいけない。 / Wow. That ... this is a w__. / え～？ / this is / is it / genuinely / It feels an April Fool. / It feels an April Fool, but it says it's got the backing of RFU. I'm sorry, Korky, come on / love __ principle. Great principle / no / I love ... I love the ... I love the fact of trying / solve / getting more referees in / good tradition of that / respecting the refs / レフェリーが不足してるのはわかるけどさ ... / but is this the answer? / No. / Back to the drawing board, guys.

In response to your, uh, ... "everyone's got to watch rugby in silence" thing, which is supposed to / referees / that's not my ... that's not / I've just, uh ... / that / that was __ news story / yeah / from __ Yorkshire / which / occurred to us / be throwing / yes, referees / some hustle / they shouldn't be h__ed / in a nasty way from, uh, from the, uh, touchline / offensive way / but / answer is / silence, to ban everything / cheering / everything / ban nasty, offensive comments / referee / just a thought / the other way of dealing with __ is, of course, to allow refs to respond in kind / 目には目をで対抗する権限を審判に与えればいい。 / all __ abuse / I've found a ... yeah, precedent / 前例がある / preacher Bob Graham was fired after he re-mooned the congregation because they chatted during his sermon in El Paso, Texas / テキサスのエルパソで、ボブ・グラハム牧師が、礼拝中におしゃべりをしていた信徒にケツを見せてクビになったそうだ。/ That's the other way you could do it. / you could just ... you know, __ __ in kind / what about we bring in ... what about we bring in, if referees do get abused / I understand it's not a laughing matter, that / いやいや、笑い事ではないってことは、わかってます。 / I know / light-heartedly / this show. But what about if / referee / allowed to moon, uh ... / moon the crowd back / yeah / if you ... I mean, it's one thing / if you think about that / no chanting, no clapping, no ... nothing, from the ... from the crowd. Imagine that, at a premier league football match, ... a world cup. Imagine the world cup final ... where there's no sound / like Korea / like North Korea / sort of things you imagine in North Korea. / It sounds ... the story sounded like something made up or something that comes from some __ __ very different culture / very different culture / or __ April Fool. That's what that sounds like / apparently it's true / back / good luck with that. ... Sounds crazy to us. ... / who are we? Who are we, Korky? / Hey, Korky's just handed a / email / お、今コーキーにメールの束が渡された。 / doesn't matter if it's not any good, read it / 何が書いてある？ 何でもいいから読め。しょーもない話でもいいから読め。 / there's someone telling a hardly used fridge-freezer in __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ ... that's what it says / So, / I imagine this / back / start of the show / we didn't have the newspapers / we sayd, "What's happening?" / Yes. / OK. / We've got newpapers now / thanks for getting involved / It's all right, mate. Thanks for getting involved / only, uh, email / uh, no, we've got a couple. Uh ... / something / some__ else / emailed / abou the same thing / papers / yeah / give us some content / Robin Derbyshire says / why not try to guess the top 20 family holidays for this summer from today's Guardian? / Huh, that's a good idea. / Uh ... / but we haven't got in front of us, so we ... don't ... / But he's got it. He can / I know, but I'm not gonna wait for him to ring up and say "Yeah, that one's right, that one's wrong / don't get me wrong, it's a truncated system, but it would work. / It's really bad. It's worse than normal set up. ... uh ... "Hello, Rhod ..." Uh ... I'll tell you ... have a guess, what's the No.1 family holidays? / Oh. Beach. / Good guess. / Thanks.

Did you hear about this? This is a couple of days ago, __ wheelie-bin that got parking ticket in Carmarthen, my hometown / caught my eye / I didn't / Go on. / listeners and Korky / a bit of / what do you make of this? / Huh huh / you remember / rugby people / rugby people / rugby crowd / banned from making any noise / what do you think of that? Korky? / Yeah. / And what do you think of this, Korky? / Go on. / A traffic warden is being investigated ... / Yeah? / ... now, that's the key point here. / Yeah? / Jot that down. ... after a parking ticket was placed on a wheelie bin, right? / Yeah. I'm not surprised __ __ being investigated. / So, there's a wheelie-bin / broadly, there is a wheelie-bin ... in a wrong place / 大雑把に言えば、キャスター付きゴミ箱が、あってはいけない場所にあったということだ。 / Yes. / Right? ... "The warden was accused of bizzare behavior by on ... by onlookers. ... __ __ why have onlookers got any right of accusing you of anything? (What if the) judge (going), "Order, order. What did the onlookers say?" ... Uh ... there was a penalty charge notice stuck on the bin because it was parked on double yellow lines in Carmarthen" Now this is a ... this is a tricky one. This is a ... / parked __ __ straight away / that's the first / problem, innit, 'cause __ __ not a vehicle / can anything other than a vehicle / parked / or is the bin left? / ... What's the difference (between) "parked" and "left"? / "parked" is a vehicle. / But what's the differene? Technically / somebody / double yellow lines, where things aren't supposed to be / yeah / things that / you've got to come back to the original ambition of double yellow lines / keep that part free / yes, good point, true, true / "parked" and "left" is academic, I would say / "停めた" のか "放置した" のかというのは、黄色い二重線の本来の目的から目をそらす、本質から外れた、議論のための議論だ。 / Well, is it, though?, because I would assume / the l__ ... the l__ of a traffic warden is that of / there's __ clue. You don't get a wheelie-bin in traffic / No, but the point of a traffic warden is to keep __ traffic moving. / Yes, traffic. / everybody complains about them. Without them / he has got / right up __ certain __ without a certain thing. / Yeah. / Right? So, they ha__ to keep the traffic moving and keep ... that's what / does a wheelie bin on double yellow lines / does that impede traffic in the same way as a parked car? I would argue, yes. / I see. I see. I see your point, yeah. You are not ... you are not technically seeing it as a traffic, but you are seeing it as affecting the traffic. / ゴミ箱は交通の一部ではないが、交通に影響を与える、そういうことだね。 / And it's a good point. / like / elephant on double yellow lines. / Yeah, but / you wouldn't / ticket on elephant / Why not? / 'cause it's not traffic / clip it to his ear / 耳にクリップで付ければいいじゃないか。 / well, you could / physically do it / bin / elephant on double yellow lines / yeah / then you would ... that would clog up traffic. That w__ cause jam, __ __, everybody __ __ "What's going going on?" "There's an elephant on double yellow lines in Q__ Street / take your point / let me extend a little / what about an old lady who's got / parked / double yellow lines / without a car / on a walking frame, who's just got stuck or she's really tired and she's been __ing for ages ... has you got / right / parking ticket on her? / why is it different? / she's stopping the traffic / traffic flowing / because she hasn't been left. / What if she has been? What if someone dumped her out of a car? / is there __ difference between ... / old woman posing for breath and somebody parking a elephant on double yellow lines. / Is there, though? / There is. / there isn't / no / it's not / perspective / keep the traffic moving / same thing, __ / difference. There is a clear difference / you / just / oh, lady, are you parked there? Or / she / no / just posing for a second / let me help you on / what if / hard to hear / couldn't hear him? / You could hold a sign up. / a sign / you could write something down / what if she hasn't got very good eye sight? / you could ... you could, perfectly easily ... perfectly easily s__bble together some kind of communication with __ old lady / communicate __ __ old lady / what if she doesn't / are you thinking of a dead person / has been left? ... 'cause ... / No. / ... it's very dark. / 死体遺棄の話か？ 暗すぎるぞ。 / No. I was just thinking / someone who doesn't want to communicate / rewind / she's irritated / Rewind. Let's come back ... / she's had a terrible morning ... / Let's come back / she __ __ shopping __ __ tried to cross the road, she's getting her breath back, she can't __ __ she can't see very well. / I think you / I still think __ __ __ on the pavement / pavement / way / you couldn't help an elephant, or ... a wheelie-bin. ... Now, let's get back to the wheelie-bin. / Yeah, you could. You could move a wheelie-bin. / Let's get back. / In fact, that's a good point. You could move the wheelie-bin __ you can't move a car 'cause it's locked. / Wait. You're not ... You can't move a wheelie / put / back / listen, "Carmarthen __ Council / said / no ticket issued / inside the / incident was a light-hearted moment / put / laugh. / Now this changes everything / changes everything / salesman Mike Jones __ he spotted the warden / about the wheelie-bin / Right. / bluh bluh bluh bluh ... It was bizzare / he was one of the onlookers / Mike Jones, right? Now, then / Carmarthen __ county / safety manager John M__ s__ / there was no ticket / possible to book a wheelie-bin or anything that is not motorized. / 動力装置が付いていない物に違反キップは切らない / Huh. / there we are. / What about a car with its engine taken out and then left on the double yellow lines, then? / it's not / does that mean / it doesn't ... __ can't act like a vehicle / get / take engine with you? ... That's simple then, ... innit? / じゃあ、エンジンを外して持ち歩けば、駐禁ゾーンに停めても違反キップを切られずに済むんだな？ / "Although this is meant to be a humorous incident, we take this kind of things very seriously and have launched a formal investigation into the conduct of this officer." ... Well, this is the greatest non-story of all time / wasn't / so, story of __ ticket being / it was the packet of / turns out / Luckily, no more time is gonna be wasted on it. There's a formal investigation." ... Now, how much is that gonna cost? / Honestly. / uh ... anyway, um ... / honestly / joke / come on / honestly / come on, guys / Isn't it? / Honestly. / Don't bother doing a formal investigation, right? / it's a joke / it __ a little joke. The onlookers / bizzare behavior. Let's leave it at that. / Come on, guys. Don't take that ticket off that old lady.

Hey, Rhod, I'm heading to London for Camp America Meeting." I didn't know they still did Camp America. Feels / very 70's thing. ... "Got a bloke snoring really loudly behind me. Sigh. Lots of love, Rebecca" ... Uh ... presumably on the bus. I don't know / she doesn't say / doesn't say who the bloke is, snoring behind __ maybe she's walking / guy's just ... / Hi, Rhod and Korky. Dual feature" ... Hmm. / Here we go. / キター / "Gambol through the papers" and "Celebrity out-of-context bingo". C__ B__ on the / 有名人の日常: ... が服を着てました / front page of / M__ / clothes on. ... Cheers, A__ D__" ... / certainly ... certainly / that one before. / Huh? Yeah. We certainly ... we need to bring back Celebrity out-of-context Bingo / if you look at the floor there, I've got / pile of them. I've got a pile of celebrity out-of-context bingo / years ago / I haven't / I might, uh ... / spread out / every single show you spread out / what / nine piles of stuff there / yeah / ... that you__ never then use. / It's ... / Ever. / it's back-up. / I know it's back-up. You just, like, __, like, / just / little nest, isn't it? / little radio nest. / It's in case anythig goes wrong / I know / back-up, that is / pick any pile of that. It's all gold. Every ... / you pass me any pile of that / why don't we just do that, then? / can't be bothered / Yes. It's funny, innit? / uh ... / bear __ just fill in the time. / "Morning, Rhod and Chris / just / apologies for / Lunch Club / I gotta / hairdresser's / keep up the mediocre work." / No problem. / __ from, uh, / thanks for getting involved / "Rhod, news reports in __ Fishguard County Echo about / __ appearing / yeah, thanks, uh, posty John from, uh, N__. ... Here's an interesting story, Korkey. / Is it? Is it really? / Well, I don't know. Look at this. / Have you read it? / Yeah, I have, yeah. / OK. / ... You know, like, you can get, uh, sleeping pills and stuff. / Yes. / You know. ... uh ... and ... uh ... __ __ __ __ __ people use sleeping pills / you know / one of / sort of, more, um ... I don't know ... uh ... mandane ways, you might say, or cer ... / just / on flight / 24-hour-flight-to Australia thing __ __ oh, take ... I'll take, uh ... I don't know ... / either / herbal thing / pill or something / you know / just to take the edge off / just, uh ... / help you relax / help me / I've used myself in that ... uh ... you know, ... um ... apparently, Sprayable Sleep ... / Yeah? / ... is ... that's ... that's what's happening next. ... Sprayable Sleep __ __ never __ __ spray form / Huh, I see / sounds very dangerous to me. / Yeah? / because you __ __ straight away think of sinister applications / you? / go up / people randomly / face / asleep / look, __ company has launched a spray / fall asleep at a touch of a button. / ... Wow. / Sprayable Sleep is a hand-held canister that delivers melatonin, a natural hormone produced by the body that tells you to nod off. __ California-based company claims you simply apply the spray to your skin, and melatonin is ... / huh, that's a great idea / ... absorbed / your system / great idea / as opposed to, in pill forms, / dose happens all at once / a few sprays / an hour before bedtime / on the way. / Wow. / Ooh, I don't know. Sounds a bit sinister to me / not sure / other people / there are mistakes to be made __ __ pick up your deodorant / Oh, you can spray Sprayable Sleep __ your armpits / suddenly your arms / yeah / got a dead leg / things could get comlicated. / imagine if you could fall asleep at a push __ button. ... If you __ stay asleep as long as you need / if you wake up / more / back to sleep ... amazing. ... Sprayable Sleep's already ... bluh bluh bluh ... oh, they're crowd-funding it __ __ __ you can go and fund it if you want. Uh ... the product is expected to be available from July ..." I don't know. It sounds a bit ... uh, I don't know. / I like the ... I like the idea of / 睡眠っていいよね。睡眠って好きだなあ。 / Are you? / Yeah. / are you? / I / good / I / when did you reach __ conclusion? / always, I've always enjoyed sleep. / Have you? / Yeah. / ... Do you know what? I quite enjoy sleep as well. / Do you? / on a scale of one to ten? / Ten. / Yeah, me too. I'm ten. / Yeah. ... __ go higher __ I would

It's Quiz Time. / Quiz Time ! / It's Quiz Time / Which quiz do you want / Animal in Space Quiz / you can have / Evolution / Human Body Quize / like / that's winning so far / time for that. It's ... it's quite meaty. / 中身がぎっしり詰まり過ぎている。時間が足りない。 / that one / It's quite meaty. On the other end of the spectrum, / その反対で、スカスカなのがケバブ・クイズ。ケバブ・クイズなのに歯ごたえもなければ肉汁もない。 / we've got Kebab Quiz, which is just one world ... with one word answer. / meaty? / It sounds meaty, but it's not. / ironically, it's not meaty at all. / Huh, what a brilliant ironic quiz! / It is. And, General Animal Quiz. / I like that. / Quite meaty. / General Animal Quiz, my favorite, so far. / Invention Quiz? / No. / Sayings Quiz? / No. / Sounds boring, innit? / Really boring. ... Really boring. / Haggis Quiz? / No. Bored. / Huh. / Boring. / huh / Obsolete Word Quiz / yeah, that's OK. __ __ __ second place / It's OK, innit? / Thief Quiz / one-word answer / we should do that one indefinitely. / I can tell that you wanna do Sardine Quiz / Sardine Quiz is my favorite, yeah. / last week as well, if I'm honest. / ... Was it? / Yeah. / I'm not sure if it's any good. Let's try it. / OK. / Uh ... uh ... yeah. Let me have a look / __ __, you're enjoying it / Aggg, it's rubbish. / I __ __ really bad, sardine, / don't do Sardine Quiz then / boring / I'll tell you, the best thing to do here is, bearing in mind that you know them, why don't you choose? / ボクに選ばせないで、君が選びなよ。君が作ったクイズなんだから、面白いかどうか、君が一番よく知っているだろう？ / Yeah ... OK. I'll choose. / Yeah? / Yeah. / 'Cause it ... __ __ __ be good that way. / OK ... um ... OK. Animals in Space Quiz. / Huh, that sounds good. / Hmm, I don't know __ __ very much in hoof / I circled this about a year ago / I've got no idea. Uh ... / But what's bad about Sardine Quiz? / it's just five facts about sardines. ... I'll read ... I'll read it out to you. / Go on. Go on. Do it. / good / explain why this quiz wouldn't work / but do it as a quiz / be entertaining or interesting / people / I wonder why / wasn't gonna work / このイワシクイズをやって人々に少しでも楽しんでもらうためには、人々がまず、「へえ、イワシクイズが面白くないのはなぜだろう？気になるなあ」と思うことが重要だ。 / doesn't work / if it doesn't work, yeah, it doesn't matter / yeah / doesn't matter __ __ formal investigation. / Yeah. ... Only if it's ... / oh, look / I normally / go on / I normally / I normally find something in the paper and then I go / huh, I / make a quiz out of that / yeah / for / for example / two-page pullout on Viking / I haven't read it / I just thought / Viking Quiz ! / exactly / when it comes to it, on the hoof, I / something / viking / formulate a question from it / explain this to? / 誰に説明してるの？ / You. / I don't need / I know how this works / listeners / I'm very sure they know as well. / リスナーもわかってるよ。 / looking behind the curtain. It's magic. / ちょっとした裏話だ。ワクワクするだろ。 / Yeah. / come on q__ q__ / sardines / five facts / make it entertaining / omega-3 fatty acids, / オメガ３脂肪酸 / which is important for brain health. Now, I could say, "What / true / contain / entertainment in that / or I could say, "Sardine's got / what are they important for? / Bones. / No. It's brain health. / Yeah. / See? __, it's not very funny / let's try another one / quiz / answers / it's not played for laugh, not necessarily, Rhod. / クイズなんだから、必ずしも笑いを取る必要はないでしょ？ / I think it is, mate. ... I think, if we're gonna / Sardine Quiz, you've gotta / play it for laughs. / そうじゃない。イワシクイズをやるからには、必ず笑いを取らなければならない。イワシクイズとはそういうものだ。 / Question 2. / Go on. / __ __ __ this is rubbish / we know that / we are proving it / みなさん。しょーもないのはわかってます。しょーもないことを証明しているのです。 / Come on. Go. / question 2 / like that. It's exciting / Sardines Quiz. / Sardine Quiz ! / Sardines are high in calcium and vitamin D. / I knew that. It's in their bones. / ... which both help to promote what? / ... Uh ... bone growth. / Yes / and teeth / yes / Yes. Come on. / Oh, this is the worst quiz ... / __ not. / exciting / one right. Let's go. / ... Uh ... I'm not / I can't continue with this / one sardine quiz / See? That was fun. / やった！ イワシクイズで全問正解！ / But look at my next question. / Go on, then / also / an excellent source of what? / Uh ... / answer is / essential amino acid / never would have got it / 絶対に正解できないだろ / amino / that was / difficult question / very / laughs / one, maximum / But ... but, / got one right and one wrong. So, now we are reaching a climax of Sardine Quiz / 正解が一つ。不正解が一つ。クイズは今がクライマックスじゃないか。ここでやめるなんてあんまりだよ。 / let it go / he has, ladies and gentlemen / Sardine Quiz / I need to do more prep. ... Kebab Quiz / Kebab Quiz ! ... This sounds meaty / 200g の鉄板クイズ。 / Nuh, it's not. I've told you. / それほどでもない。さっき言ったろ。 / Come on. / さあ来い。 / A take-away owner ... owner, / Yes? / was ordered to pay up / ケバブ屋が罰金 8000 ポンドの支払いを命ぜられた / after serving / chicken kebab / with what in it? / with, uh ... with ... no chicken in it? / No. / Oh, that would have been a good answer, wouldn't it? / It would have been all right, yeah ... / Yeah. /... if it was an answer. / cockroaches in it? / No. / with, uh, you know, salmonella in it. / No. ... Next week we will have a decent quiz, I promise. / spiders in it / old shoe in it / No. / Uh, with too much chili source? / チリソースを入れすぎた？ / No. / get fined / that's __jective / チリソースを奮発して 8000 ポンドの罰金を取られてはたまらない。 / put / blue plasters / one of those / And anyway, I wouldn't ... I wouldn't mind getting a ... a kebab with __ blue plaster in it / 青色絆創膏？ / least / right thing / blue / found / pink pluster in it, / why don't / as you put it out in your mouth. ... Oh, this is a hard question. / 青色なら怒らない。飲食業として正しい用品を使ってる。ピンクだったら怒るよ。/ It is. / good quiz / yeah / Kebab Quiz is. ... / or a fork. A plastic fork / I'll give you a clue / council officers visited the premises and found DIY tools strewn around the kitchen / A drill? / a drill bit? / Yes. / Yes ! / how long was it / about that long / and / exactly right. About three inches. / yeah / yeah / I knew that / that was it / Great. ... So, I won. I won Kebab Quiz. / here you go. One out of one. / 一問中一問正解。 / 100% / 100% on Kebabs / ケバブクイズ、全問制覇。 / ladies and gentlemen, this is a formal apology / on behalf of the Quiz Department this week. We __ really let you down. I'm really sorry about that. I'm really sorry. I ... I promise / gonna do more prep, and I / come up with / I did enjoy. I'm being humiliated here / Bye. / Bye-bye.

If you enjoyed that one, listen to the whole show. Rhod Gilbert, live on Saturday mornings, / BBC Radio Wales, 11 till 1.

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